One day, if the stars are aligned and youve worked hard to do the right thing, you, too, might be lucky enough to receive a lovely compliment like the one Nancy Phelan, of Baraboo, Wisconsin, got a few years back. Are they trying to be nice? The statement suggests that what the person shares online is bonkers or even alarming. What they could have said instead: I love how you did your nails! Confused, we think to ourselves Did they mean to say that? 2. It may also make you wonder how long theyve secretly disliked your hair. Living rent-free or child-free can be less stressful than many alternatives, but that doesn't mean anyone's life is totally carefree or without responsibility. Backhanded Compliments | Psychology Today 11 Outcomes You Can Expect, 13 Conspicuous Clues That A Woman Has Multiple Partners, 51 Funny Hinge Prompt Answers That Are Sure To Grab Their Attention. Imagine you had a conflict with someone, and they say this to you. How can you tell a backhanded compliment? This implies that you did not really try, and it is just them high-fiving themselves and implying that they are better than you. This pseudo-compliment is a big hint that your home is messy. As an added bonus, it perpetuates the idea that you have to compromise your sense of independence in order to be attractive. It might be their way of judging or they simply might not realize why its a rude thing to say. 4. They don't smack you with an open palm, but with the back of the. Martins, TV. Im so grateful to be comfortable so I can fully enjoy myself at this wedding., What they could have said instead: I love your outfit. People should never, never give their opinion regarding other peoples bodies (unless they are a health professional who is paid to do so). Youre brave to go back to work and leave your baby with strangers in daycare. Why its backhanded: Youre literally on your couch in a onesie surrounded by tissues and rubbing at your puffy eyes and this is better than what your friend thought? The statement encompasses both positive and negative aspects. Well, this might be a compliment, but its probably backhanded. But they are also actively calling you gross, and now you feel uncomfortable eating the food you brought for your lunch. This implies that your art is not in style and that all your hard work is wasted because, ultimately, it is not good enough to sell. Why its backhanded: Talk about microaggressive complimenting styles. But understanding how to respond may help you set clear. Being single must make holiday planning so much easier for you. The Optimistminds editorial team is made up of psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health professionals. They could of just said that you look stunning, but instead, you are left wondering if you look out of place. Youre on the Backhanded Compliments, Negging, and Insults Page. 2023 Psych Central, a Healthline Media Company. You're the only reason why I am here. Either way, instead of feeling nice, you are then left to contemplate what they wanted to say. Sometimes people around you may see solutions that you would not have thought of. Many people of color have reported an all-to-common reference usually uttered in surprise. Numerous studies suggest that forgiveness is associated with lower levels of depression, anxiety and stress. Spend $125 more and get Free Standard Shipping on Contiguous US Domestic Orders Only, Free Shipping on US Contiguous Orders $125+. What to do? This is someone with extensive knowledge of the subject matter and highly cited published material. Compliments like this one prove that whoever says such a thing thinks youre a slob. Synonyms include an underhanded compliment, left-handed compliment, slight, aspersion, and stealth insult. Wait was that an insult?. Focus on the bright side: Thank you for acknowledging my hard work. Theres no doubt about this one it can be read in two totally different ways. Are you talking to anyone or nah?, Why its backhanded: This may be an innocent comment, Spinella tells Bustle. Most jobs dont require bravery. Here are five helpful ways to respond to a backhanded compliment: 1. These are just some of the things you can do when you interact with difficult people. This is an insult addressed towards a part of your body. Reddit, what is the most backhanded compliment you can think of? What they could have said instead: Im so inspired by the way you curate your feed. Can you clarify what you mean because this is what I heard", What they could have said instead: Youre the queen of getting stuff done. The High Road: How to Respond to a Backhanded Compliment Her first book was released January 2021 and is titled The Thunder, The Storm, and The Calm and is available to purchase at indigo and barnes and noble. You need to respond to them, set clear boundaries, and if the situation does not improve, move away from that person. 4. Springer, Boston, MA. Maybe you do not even realize that you are doing it, and now you feel terribly guilty! Ive been feelin myself lately. Why its backhanded: Your friend may profess to love your devil-may-care attitude, but what they're really saying is that they think youre too out there. Either that, or theyre making a salty comment because theyre envious of your laid-back attitude. Yes, she continued, your shirt matches your pants, and your pants match your socks. Joyce Thomasson, Stuart, Florida. For instance, "Ouch, I feel a bit hurt by that comment. Backhanded compliments run the gamut from clueless comments to rude remarks, and can also be a form of microaggression, Ezelle says. I was taking my four-year-old grandson out of his car seat when he gazed into my eyes and delivered this bit of wisdom: Papa, youre old. Accomplish this by repeating that portion or paraphrasing and saying thanks for that. 29 Apr 2023 13:37:55 Our Stance on AI Content Dealing with backhanded compliments can be tricky. What they could have said instead: You look great!. She is often off somewhere looking for a new inspiration. Rich, he said, youre stinking less at this job all the time. R.P. Imagine you buy a new perfume, and you are so excited to wear it. Do you prefer to give a *real* compliment to someone you truly admire? Saying otherwise is passive-aggressive at worst and presumptuous at best. For example, if your friend says, I love your pants, it hides your stomach so well, you can respond to the former statement, not the latter. What would you do differently? Sometimes asking someone to explain their comment is a way to get them to pause, reflect, and realize theyre being mean. It is certain that each person wants to be listened to, so while doing this, focus on what the individual in front of you wants to convey to you and not on the reply you want to give them.
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